Trader Vics for Tiki Tuesday!

Got off work, leapt out the door, lost my umbrella to the wind. Great.

Didn't need it, but it's cold outside.

I head to Trader Vic's with this on my mind.

Trader Vic's is a tiki lounge/restaurant specializing in Polyniesian cusine and swank cocktails. The last time I was here with my folks we share some mediocre food and a pretty sweet volcano cocktail. I had a blast. This time it was drinks only, as I arrived after the main kitchen had shut down.

Ran into my crew, did the hellos. Refrained from throwing out a "Who wants to party with the Drink-Bot?!" and sat down. Sipped a few cocktails that were already out. Some were sweet little things, o

ne was a little rough around the edges, but both tasted just a little on the weak side. This worried me. Not that I wanted to get plastered but I guess that hanging out with pirates will get

you used to cocktails with nards.

Here's what I got:

Navy Grog

• 1/2 oz Grand Marnier
• 1/2 oz Gold Rum
• 1/2 oz Dark Rum
• 1/2 oz Light Rum
• 1 oz Grapefruit Juice
• 1 oz Orange Juice
• 1 oz Pineappe Juice

1. Dump the liquor into a Collins glass with ice.
2. Pour the juice on top and give it a shake.
3. Add a pineapple slice

The Navy Grog was good. I expected rums (orignally, Grog was watered down rum given to sailors on board British navy vessels. It was watered down to make it last longer.), and I expected maybe a little lemonade or something citrussy. It came down good and fruity, the rum was right on top of the palate and it was tasty. And easy sipper. I threw it back in minutes.

Pimm's Cup

• 2 oz Pimm's Cup No. 1
• 3 oz Lemonade
• Twist of Lemon to garnish
• Cucumber slice too!

1. Pimm's over ice.
2. Lemonade
3. Garnish

Pimm's Cup was...pink. Very red in color, I wasn't really expecting that. And for those of you who don't know, here's what Wikipedia has to say about Pimm's Cup:

Pimm's is a brand of alcoholic beverages now owned by Diageo. Its most popular product is Pimm's No. 1 Cup, a gin-based beverage that can be served both on ice or in cocktails. It has a dark tea colour with a reddish tint, and tastes subtly of spice and citrus fruit. It is often taken with lemonade, as well as various fruits including apples, oranges and lemons.

So that's that.

It tasted weak...like something wasn't there enough. Watery, that's a good approximation. I couldn't taste any liquor in it. To me, the taste of a liquor is in that subtle (or not so subtle) bite it gives you. Teases with a flavor, kicks you with a fuel. This Pimm's Cup didn't have that at all. Nevertheless, I let it slide by. By the time I was done drinking I was twenty bucks in the hole, and only just THEN beginning to feel the pull of a tipsy-ness. I left my friends with jovial goodbyes and hit the road.

All in all, I am going to say I enjyoed the cocktails. I did. But I want to try making them myself, or get them in a different venue. I could make them cheaper, and probably with a little more flavor. I want to go back for their food again though, and give it a spin. I dug the vibe, and the waitress was awesome about our large party. The drinks though: girly by definition, girly in strength, manly in potential. We'll see what I can do...

*rubs hand together*

Mulled Wine for the Holidays!

My phone has a great app called MDrinks that delivered to me this holiday morsel: Mulled Wine. I always wanted a good recipe for spiced wine and this one was simple, straight-forwards and easy to make. I will share it with you thus:

• 3 cups of water
• 1 cup of sugar
• 2 sticks of cinnamon
• 12 cloves (whole, not ground!)
• 1 lemon peel
• 750ml of red wine (I used a pinot noir, 750ml is usually 1 bottle of wine)
• 1/4 cup of Brandy (I used Christian Brothers brandy, great and affordable if you're using it to cook. Hair of the dog if you're serving it straight up.)

1. Simmer the water, sugar, cinnamon, cloves and lemon in a BIG pot (stainless steel is best) for 10 minutes. Do NOT allow to boil.
2. After the 10 minutes, add the wine and bring up to a coffee temperature. Nice and hot! Once again, DO NOT BOIL.
3. Add the brandy, give it a brisk stirring and SERVE.

This drink is delicious! I wish I'd shared it sooner, because it's the holidays in a glass. The wine smells strongly of cloves due to their already pungent scent, but the flavor is sweet and savory, deep and full. It's fruity, with a smooth finish and just a few glasses will have you feeling in the holiday spirit (read: jolly.) My sisters don't really like it, one commenting that it made her feel like she was "In Lord of the Rings," which only furthered my pride in the drink. My family doesn't drink much, but those who did loved it. I served the same recipe to a holiday party my friend Marty threw and it was a big hit.

Easy to make, delicious to drink and REALLY wonderful smelling, if you ever considered a great party drink during these cold days CONSIDER THIS.

Word, and Happy Holidays!

-Joe

Bacardi Mojitos in bottles

Last night me and Big Jim sat down for some gaming.  We popped in Silent Hill: Homecoming and chilled for a while, before I suggested grabbing a beverage.  The mini-fridge in my basement is usually stocked with Vess soda, so Jim went to look.  He exclaimed loudly and I inquired what was amiss?  The fridge had in it Bacardi Silver Mojitos and cans of Budweiser Select from when we chilled together in August.  We rejoiced.

The Bacardi Silver Mojito is a stylish bottle with a twist off cap, filled with a cloudy liquid.  I have three varieties of it in my fridge but I'm only going to review one for now: the classic.

It's sweet.  Damn sweet.  Bacardi Silver is like Rum Lite, and this is Rum Lite with sugar on top.  It's got very little mint kick to it, and a lot of...sweet.  Ehhh...I'm afraid to have more than one, my stomach might turn.  But that doesn't change one fact:  It's damn good.  Refreshing to the utmost.  Chilly and fine.  I'd enjoy one of these over maybe a movie from pay-per-view, or Halo 3.  Tonight in fact I am enjoying one whilst playing Left 4 Dead (And taking a break to blog about booze).

Why not, I'll try to Mango flavor as well (They also have a Pomergranate flavor...chic).

Mango is...not as good.  Smells mango-y, and the first sip is rewarding but it has a funky aftertaste, and just reverts to the classic flavor a little too quickly for me.  Best bet is stick with the classic mojito flavor we know and love...or get the fixins and make yourself a caipairinhas.

Bottom Line:  One's company, Two's a bad decision.  Enjoy one during a hot summer day, chilled well.  They're pretty good.  Stick to beer if you want to chug something though.  Chug a few of these and you'll let loose that ole' Technicolor yawn.

PS: The beer was skank as hell for some reason...ich.  I need a Berryweiss.

Caipirinhas and bad bartenders.

My family and I went to TGI Fridays to celebrate my coming home for the holidays.  Their menu reads like an encyclopedia, and after Volume 1 I was already done/bored.  The drink menu read like this: Take the name of a basic drink (Long Island Iced Tea, Mudslide, Mojito...etc) and add ULTIMATE to it.  I was unimpressed in the long run.  But something did stand out: Caipirinhas.  

I had never had one.  I'd heard of them to be sure, but I was intruged.  After wading through the various ways Friday's offers to muss it up, I came across the Caipirinhas Tradicional, which I quickly ordered.

Caipirinhas

• 1.75 oz of Cachaca
• 1/2 a fresh lime cut into 4 wedges
• 2 teaspoons of superfine sugar

1. Cut the lime into 4 wedges and place at the bottom of a rocks glass.
2. Add the two teaspoons of sugar, and muddle heartily!
3. Add ice.
4. Add the Cachaca, and shake.
5. Serve!

It was refreshing and fine, super sweet.  The lime flavor was almost sweet too, serving to balance out the flavors (I would have preferred even a little more lime maybe).  It was fantastic.  My mother, who doesn't like hard alcohol, enjoyed it immensely.  I compared it to a mojito, for it's balance of a biting flavor (mojito's mint to the Caipirinhas' lime) with a lot of sugar.  It's also easy as pie to make, and muddling always looks impressive.  I enjoyed the Caipirinha very much.

Later that night, my dogg Stu and I went to a bar in South City St. Louis...that I forget the name of.  Probably a good thing.

It was a good scene.  Smoking inside (WOOT), vintage pinball machines, some kickin live music.  But the bar...damn.  Here's where the night got really iffy.

First off, I tried Bell's Cherry Stout.  I found it quite disgusting.  It tasted like Robitussin cough syrup, so I powered through my glass like a madman insane.  Stu loved it, I couldn't handle it.  It was bitter, and the cherry flavor was so strong and foul I made faces all through it.  Geh.  

Second drink was called a Tennesee Walking, and it was a house cocktail.  Jim Beam Black, Lime Juice, Orange Juice and simple syrup.  Well it started good and well but as I watched the bartender prepare the drink, he left out the lime juice.  Served it anyways!  Why not!  There was so much OJ I may as well not have been drinking anything at all.

Bottom line: I need to drink better while I'm in town.  Let's get to making that happen.

Gin Gimlet, part 2

She's danger in heels.

The red dress makes her stand out like a strawberry in the sand, flowing and matting against her legs thanks to the ceiling fan's breeze. Her gloved hands are carrying that damned purse (I bought her that goddamn purse), slung over her left shoulder and close to her ample breasts. I've never really been a materialistic man but this girl has the most perfect pair of breasts I have ever laid eyes on. The dress didn't hide them well enough, despite it's "native" look. Her head was wrapped in the same red cloth and her sunglasses were large and gaudy. Her dark hair makes it seem almost like she fits in among the people behind her on the street. A single strand of it falls across her face and she brushes it away, an automatic action. One look at her walking in and I disapproved instantly. She walks with an air of authority. In this circumstance, and with me holding all the cards, it wasn't her place to do so at all. It made me want to smile. I sipped my drink to hide it.

She walks straight up to me, as if to plant a kiss. I see it in her stride. Same stride for two years. I raise my glass again and block my face with the gin, speaking through it.

"A little forward, don't you think?" I sip the gin, feeling it work it's way into my senses. I set the glass down and wait for it.

"Always cool, aren't we Sal?" It's amusing to me, that when an organization of criminals discovers my real name, it's not my real name at all. I still wait for it.

"It took Henry a little while to find you, you know. We didn't expect the gamble in Berlin honestly. Thankfully I was there to stir through your dramatics, love."

I hate when she calls me love. She has this perfectly applied Russian accent, a fake one might I add, that she knows drives me crazy. She does it a lot. She has a habit of using her tongue too much on the L in the word "love", and it throws me back to a lot more private a time, with a lot less clothing on. I mentally kick myself for losing focus.

"Anyways, enough of the old times. Henry sent me, honestly, to cut you a deal."

Read: Henry sent me to seduce you into bed, so he can deal you a knife to the throat.

She opens her purse and takes out a large roll of money. My eyebrows perk just slightly. She smiles, and next to it holds up a human finger. My eyebrows draw tighter. It's a girl's finger. It's her finger. She takes off the glove of her right hand to show me. Her fifth finger is missing, bandaged crudely. Her laughing eyes take on a sudden and terrifyingly pitiable look to them. She is about to cry.

"Turn over the plans, or Henry will kill me."

My eyes dart briefly to the window. In the corner of the window is the tip of a rifle, just a few centimeters, pointed directly at her. She's starting to lose her composure. Poor thing, it must have taken her every last drop of sanity to get through that speech without breaking the spell. Now she's got nothing left. I drink the last drop of the gimlet, my mind loose enough and just dull enough to allow me to do what happens next. I smile and nod, reaching into my coat for the carefully folded plans, but I come out with my gun. Clicking back the hammer, the gun rises swiftly and stops perfectly. She stares down the barrel, the tears starting. She looks up at me, into my cold eyes. I wink at her once, and her eyes intensify into something I can get behind. Hope.

"Brace yourself, and I apologize in advance for this."
I coil my legs and spring forwards, wrapping my arms around her tightly. She's tensed her muscles for the impact, good girl. The bullet from the assailant flies through my shoulder, leaving a bloody streak and stinging like ten thousand bastards. I whip my gun sideways and squeeze off a round. The gun vanishes back through the window and I hear screams outside. I fall to the floor. She crawls over to me, the waterworks all the way on now, and grabs my coat.

"You idiot! You damn idiot do you think running will do us any good?!" she bawls.

"Nobody said I was running, babe. Now shut up and get down, I've got work to do!"

the Black Velvet, and the best bartender ever

So over the last week I was at GenCon in Indianapolis, IN indulging my inner and outer nerd. It was a brilliantly fun week, with a lot of imbibing on my part, and a chance to try a few new things in the world of drinks. The Black Velvet was by far my favorite foray into this realm.

Black Velvet

• Half stout (usually Guinness)
• Half sparkling white whine (usually champagne)

1. Fill a champagne flute halfway with stout.
2. Carefully float the champagne on top of it till filled.

The drink is exquisite. I am trying to move down a line of beer cocktails because they fascinate me, and this was my first. It was poured expertly, and tasted amazing. The flavor of the champagne slightly overshadows that of the stout, but that's okay in this case. The stout was there, after swirling it around on my palate a little. It provided an earthy base to an otherwise unearthly drink. The champagne bubbles pulled both flavors up through the flute and they danced with perfect precision.

I suggest the drink. Give it a taste. See if it's your thing. I seem to be heading down the line of a champagne fan, I know, but I like it and it's my blog so nyah. Between the Kir Royale and this, that's two great champagne cocktails I think everyone should try. Who knows? You may find you even like a little stout!

Now, the man who poured me this drink was a god amongst men. He is without a doubt the best bartender I have ever had the privilege of enjoying. We were eating post-con dinner at McCormick and Schmick's in Indianapolis, and I ordered my usual cocktail, the gin gimlet, to open. What amazed me was what happened next. He first asked what kind of gin I would prefer. All good bars ask, and I'm proud to say Tanqueray. I appreciate it's bite, above Beefeater's smooth finish and Bombay Sapphire's...meh. I just like Tanqueray. So Tanqueray it is. He begins by...and this messed me up: freshly squeezing two limes for the juice. It was orgasmic. Precision, excellence. There wasn't a bottle of Rose's Concentrated Lime juice in sight, just a basket of lemons and limes. The juice was added to the Boston shaker and with the gin, shaken and strained into a chilled martini glass. Served to me. I took one sip and

GOD.

DAMN.

The gimlet was sweet. And sour. But it was a natural kind of sweet and sour. The lime juices natural sugars had come out in the process and were right there, with the flavor of the gin. I wanted a bathtub full of it, and a straw, and the ability to metabolize alcohol with no risk whatsoever. It was without a doubt the most perfect cocktail I have ever had. Bar none. He also made me the Black Velvet, and that was just as expertly done. I tipped him ten dollars for the gimlet alone.

If you are even in Indianapolis, try McCormick and Schmick's. Pricey, yes. Delicious, HELL yes. Good bartender, no...BEST bartender.

Peace.

-Joe

PS: I have some pictures of this evening on my phone. Soon as I upload them we can all enjoy them!

Blue Moon

It's like...It's like orange juice beer.

That's how to describe Blue Moon. From its color down to its finish, it tastes like a beer that yearns to be a juice. Citrus flavors have a tendancy to overcome other more subtle flavorings in drinks, and this is no exception. But it's a GOOD sort of overcome!

Blue Moon and I got our start back when I was working at a major video game company in Chicago. I was too young to drink back then but the guys I worked with all loved Blue Moon. I had a taste one lucky day and it struck me as a deliriously refreshing beverage, especially for a hot day. A nice, light ale, not hoppy at all, with that great orange flavor. I've tried six-pack bottles of it, and find it doesn't quite capture the flavor of a well poured draught pint, garnished with fresh, wide slices of juicy orange. Man alive.

I drink Blue Moon exclusively during hot weather. It's made for that. I prefer a heavier drink in the cold, something british and room temperature (read: stouts). But Blue Moon has me looking forwards to the summer every time. I got my dad into drinking it too, and we enjoy one together on occasion.

The Final Word: If you don't really like hoppy lagers, and want a little more flavor to your ale, give Blue Moon a try. INSIST on draught, insist on a slice of orange. If you can't get that, don't make it your first foray. Wait, instead, for the right circumstances and enjoy a good bottle bear like Corona. But Blue Moon should be on everyone's list.