Caipirinhas and bad bartenders.

My family and I went to TGI Fridays to celebrate my coming home for the holidays.  Their menu reads like an encyclopedia, and after Volume 1 I was already done/bored.  The drink menu read like this: Take the name of a basic drink (Long Island Iced Tea, Mudslide, Mojito...etc) and add ULTIMATE to it.  I was unimpressed in the long run.  But something did stand out: Caipirinhas.  

I had never had one.  I'd heard of them to be sure, but I was intruged.  After wading through the various ways Friday's offers to muss it up, I came across the Caipirinhas Tradicional, which I quickly ordered.

Caipirinhas

• 1.75 oz of Cachaca
• 1/2 a fresh lime cut into 4 wedges
• 2 teaspoons of superfine sugar

1. Cut the lime into 4 wedges and place at the bottom of a rocks glass.
2. Add the two teaspoons of sugar, and muddle heartily!
3. Add ice.
4. Add the Cachaca, and shake.
5. Serve!

It was refreshing and fine, super sweet.  The lime flavor was almost sweet too, serving to balance out the flavors (I would have preferred even a little more lime maybe).  It was fantastic.  My mother, who doesn't like hard alcohol, enjoyed it immensely.  I compared it to a mojito, for it's balance of a biting flavor (mojito's mint to the Caipirinhas' lime) with a lot of sugar.  It's also easy as pie to make, and muddling always looks impressive.  I enjoyed the Caipirinha very much.

Later that night, my dogg Stu and I went to a bar in South City St. Louis...that I forget the name of.  Probably a good thing.

It was a good scene.  Smoking inside (WOOT), vintage pinball machines, some kickin live music.  But the bar...damn.  Here's where the night got really iffy.

First off, I tried Bell's Cherry Stout.  I found it quite disgusting.  It tasted like Robitussin cough syrup, so I powered through my glass like a madman insane.  Stu loved it, I couldn't handle it.  It was bitter, and the cherry flavor was so strong and foul I made faces all through it.  Geh.  

Second drink was called a Tennesee Walking, and it was a house cocktail.  Jim Beam Black, Lime Juice, Orange Juice and simple syrup.  Well it started good and well but as I watched the bartender prepare the drink, he left out the lime juice.  Served it anyways!  Why not!  There was so much OJ I may as well not have been drinking anything at all.

Bottom line: I need to drink better while I'm in town.  Let's get to making that happen.

Gin Gimlet, part 2

She's danger in heels.

The red dress makes her stand out like a strawberry in the sand, flowing and matting against her legs thanks to the ceiling fan's breeze. Her gloved hands are carrying that damned purse (I bought her that goddamn purse), slung over her left shoulder and close to her ample breasts. I've never really been a materialistic man but this girl has the most perfect pair of breasts I have ever laid eyes on. The dress didn't hide them well enough, despite it's "native" look. Her head was wrapped in the same red cloth and her sunglasses were large and gaudy. Her dark hair makes it seem almost like she fits in among the people behind her on the street. A single strand of it falls across her face and she brushes it away, an automatic action. One look at her walking in and I disapproved instantly. She walks with an air of authority. In this circumstance, and with me holding all the cards, it wasn't her place to do so at all. It made me want to smile. I sipped my drink to hide it.

She walks straight up to me, as if to plant a kiss. I see it in her stride. Same stride for two years. I raise my glass again and block my face with the gin, speaking through it.

"A little forward, don't you think?" I sip the gin, feeling it work it's way into my senses. I set the glass down and wait for it.

"Always cool, aren't we Sal?" It's amusing to me, that when an organization of criminals discovers my real name, it's not my real name at all. I still wait for it.

"It took Henry a little while to find you, you know. We didn't expect the gamble in Berlin honestly. Thankfully I was there to stir through your dramatics, love."

I hate when she calls me love. She has this perfectly applied Russian accent, a fake one might I add, that she knows drives me crazy. She does it a lot. She has a habit of using her tongue too much on the L in the word "love", and it throws me back to a lot more private a time, with a lot less clothing on. I mentally kick myself for losing focus.

"Anyways, enough of the old times. Henry sent me, honestly, to cut you a deal."

Read: Henry sent me to seduce you into bed, so he can deal you a knife to the throat.

She opens her purse and takes out a large roll of money. My eyebrows perk just slightly. She smiles, and next to it holds up a human finger. My eyebrows draw tighter. It's a girl's finger. It's her finger. She takes off the glove of her right hand to show me. Her fifth finger is missing, bandaged crudely. Her laughing eyes take on a sudden and terrifyingly pitiable look to them. She is about to cry.

"Turn over the plans, or Henry will kill me."

My eyes dart briefly to the window. In the corner of the window is the tip of a rifle, just a few centimeters, pointed directly at her. She's starting to lose her composure. Poor thing, it must have taken her every last drop of sanity to get through that speech without breaking the spell. Now she's got nothing left. I drink the last drop of the gimlet, my mind loose enough and just dull enough to allow me to do what happens next. I smile and nod, reaching into my coat for the carefully folded plans, but I come out with my gun. Clicking back the hammer, the gun rises swiftly and stops perfectly. She stares down the barrel, the tears starting. She looks up at me, into my cold eyes. I wink at her once, and her eyes intensify into something I can get behind. Hope.

"Brace yourself, and I apologize in advance for this."
I coil my legs and spring forwards, wrapping my arms around her tightly. She's tensed her muscles for the impact, good girl. The bullet from the assailant flies through my shoulder, leaving a bloody streak and stinging like ten thousand bastards. I whip my gun sideways and squeeze off a round. The gun vanishes back through the window and I hear screams outside. I fall to the floor. She crawls over to me, the waterworks all the way on now, and grabs my coat.

"You idiot! You damn idiot do you think running will do us any good?!" she bawls.

"Nobody said I was running, babe. Now shut up and get down, I've got work to do!"

the Black Velvet, and the best bartender ever

So over the last week I was at GenCon in Indianapolis, IN indulging my inner and outer nerd. It was a brilliantly fun week, with a lot of imbibing on my part, and a chance to try a few new things in the world of drinks. The Black Velvet was by far my favorite foray into this realm.

Black Velvet

• Half stout (usually Guinness)
• Half sparkling white whine (usually champagne)

1. Fill a champagne flute halfway with stout.
2. Carefully float the champagne on top of it till filled.

The drink is exquisite. I am trying to move down a line of beer cocktails because they fascinate me, and this was my first. It was poured expertly, and tasted amazing. The flavor of the champagne slightly overshadows that of the stout, but that's okay in this case. The stout was there, after swirling it around on my palate a little. It provided an earthy base to an otherwise unearthly drink. The champagne bubbles pulled both flavors up through the flute and they danced with perfect precision.

I suggest the drink. Give it a taste. See if it's your thing. I seem to be heading down the line of a champagne fan, I know, but I like it and it's my blog so nyah. Between the Kir Royale and this, that's two great champagne cocktails I think everyone should try. Who knows? You may find you even like a little stout!

Now, the man who poured me this drink was a god amongst men. He is without a doubt the best bartender I have ever had the privilege of enjoying. We were eating post-con dinner at McCormick and Schmick's in Indianapolis, and I ordered my usual cocktail, the gin gimlet, to open. What amazed me was what happened next. He first asked what kind of gin I would prefer. All good bars ask, and I'm proud to say Tanqueray. I appreciate it's bite, above Beefeater's smooth finish and Bombay Sapphire's...meh. I just like Tanqueray. So Tanqueray it is. He begins by...and this messed me up: freshly squeezing two limes for the juice. It was orgasmic. Precision, excellence. There wasn't a bottle of Rose's Concentrated Lime juice in sight, just a basket of lemons and limes. The juice was added to the Boston shaker and with the gin, shaken and strained into a chilled martini glass. Served to me. I took one sip and

GOD.

DAMN.

The gimlet was sweet. And sour. But it was a natural kind of sweet and sour. The lime juices natural sugars had come out in the process and were right there, with the flavor of the gin. I wanted a bathtub full of it, and a straw, and the ability to metabolize alcohol with no risk whatsoever. It was without a doubt the most perfect cocktail I have ever had. Bar none. He also made me the Black Velvet, and that was just as expertly done. I tipped him ten dollars for the gimlet alone.

If you are even in Indianapolis, try McCormick and Schmick's. Pricey, yes. Delicious, HELL yes. Good bartender, no...BEST bartender.

Peace.

-Joe

PS: I have some pictures of this evening on my phone. Soon as I upload them we can all enjoy them!

Blue Moon

It's like...It's like orange juice beer.

That's how to describe Blue Moon. From its color down to its finish, it tastes like a beer that yearns to be a juice. Citrus flavors have a tendancy to overcome other more subtle flavorings in drinks, and this is no exception. But it's a GOOD sort of overcome!

Blue Moon and I got our start back when I was working at a major video game company in Chicago. I was too young to drink back then but the guys I worked with all loved Blue Moon. I had a taste one lucky day and it struck me as a deliriously refreshing beverage, especially for a hot day. A nice, light ale, not hoppy at all, with that great orange flavor. I've tried six-pack bottles of it, and find it doesn't quite capture the flavor of a well poured draught pint, garnished with fresh, wide slices of juicy orange. Man alive.

I drink Blue Moon exclusively during hot weather. It's made for that. I prefer a heavier drink in the cold, something british and room temperature (read: stouts). But Blue Moon has me looking forwards to the summer every time. I got my dad into drinking it too, and we enjoy one together on occasion.

The Final Word: If you don't really like hoppy lagers, and want a little more flavor to your ale, give Blue Moon a try. INSIST on draught, insist on a slice of orange. If you can't get that, don't make it your first foray. Wait, instead, for the right circumstances and enjoy a good bottle bear like Corona. But Blue Moon should be on everyone's list.

Latency...

No computer, can't really concentrate on a good post but I have MATERIAL.
So gimme a little bit, to get my wireless card installed and maybe tonight I'll have a little something for you.

Peace!

The Kir Royale and Godfather

I tried an incredibly delicious drink last night known as the Kir Royale. Here's the story, followed by a few more.

Last night, after a great dinner at the 2nd Annual Space Camp Hall-of-Fame Induction Dinner and Ceremony, we went to a reception at Ketchup, a classy dance bar at Bridge Street Town Center in Huntsville. This place was poppin'. The music was loud, the beats were hot. I'm going back for sure, but I digress. We went into the VIP and sat down with some of the guest speakers and award winners from the event. Neil DeGrasse Tyson, the famous astrophysicist was in attendance that night. He is the most inspiring public speaker I have ever met in my entire life. We listened and talked to him all night. (He even said my major-video game development- was good!) But on to the drinks.

I realize that only a well-stocked, well-tended bar will be able to know, much less make a few of the mainstream IBA drinks I tend to order. It is in my snooty opinion every decent tender should have the IBA list memorized. I gave it a shot with a variation on a classic. "The Kir Royale..." I said. The host nodded and said no problem! My emotions could be summed up in one word: glee.

The Kir Royale

• 9 parts Champagne
• 1 part Creme de Cassis (black currant liqueur)

1. Pour the creme de Cassis into a wide champagne flute first.
2. Then the champagne.
   

My god, this drink. I love currant flavor, first off. I describe it as a grape with balls. The champagne fizzed pleasantly in the glass, which had a deeper rose hue than normal thanks to the color of the cassis. I took one sip and was knocked off my feet. It was fizzy and sweet, as was to be expected with champagne, but it has a tart kick to it thanks to the cassis. It was a perfect blend of all the things I love about sour drinks and sweet drinks. I took a few sips, and passed it to Krista, who promptly drank it all. Needless to say, she enjoys them too. They are now in my top five list of drinks, and may soon usurp the gimlet if things continue! A normal Kir has white wine instead of champagne. Wikipedia suggests a chardonnay-based Burgundy wine, such as a Chablis.

Trivia: Hercule Poirot loves Kirs.

Let me go back in time through the night a little, however, to the dinner itself. There was a half-amply stocked wet bar (A stocked bar has Rose's Concentrated Lime Juice. Dammit) that I ventured too. I explained to the tenders how to make me a Godfather. They laughed and said they'd remember the drink for sure! So for good measure, I also told them how to make a Godmother. Then I tipped really well.

Godfather

• 1 part amaretto
• 1 part scotch

1. Mix both into an old-fashioned glass with ice.
   

This drink is one I've always wanted to try. I love me some amaretto, and I want to learn to enjoy the subtleties in the flavor of scotch. I had my head turned when the bartender was pouring the scotch, so I missed which label he used. The label of amaretto was Amaretto de Amore.

The drink had the flavor of a blended malt scotch whisky. I had to stir it a bit to get it to blend well with the amaretto, but when it did it hit the tongue sweetly, and swallowed like whisky. It had a kick to it, of course. It's a good cigar drink, really. A heavy sort of flavor, but the almond tries its best to cut the scotch juuuuust enough to make it sweet-ish. I may have it again sometime if I get my hands on a nice Romeo Y Julieta.

I also had a weak-ass amaretto sour. Too much sweet and sour mix, too much ice.

Bottom Line: Try the Kir Royale, it's incredible. Give the Godfather a shot if you like scotch, amaretto, both or neither. Only drink properly mixed amaretto sours. Stay in school.


PS: The bar Ketchup put together a few simple "space" drinks last night. Cute, tasty. I made one up too. The V2 is mine.

V2 = Extra Dry Vermouth and Gin martini, frosted glass, no olive. Speak in a German accent while drinking.

Alien = Orange Juice and Midori

NASA = Orange juice and peach schnapps

The bottom two are fast and easy party drinks you can whip up in minutes for several friends and family. The Alien had a lovely green tint to it...mmmm...

The Dark Knight

Seriously.
It's a drink.

The bartenders down at Prive', a high-class movie theatre premium box seats section at the Monaco Theatre, have concocted several drinks themed after characters in the new Christopher Nolan Batman spectacular "The Dark Knight." The drink is...in contrast to the film...sweet. Let's get into it.

The Dark Knight
(The ingredients list I found was typical of most bars in its simplicity.)

• Vodka
• Gin
• Rum
• Chambord
• Blue Curacao

Now, a drink like this usually drinks like a Long Island Iced tea and in fact, that's exactly what I'd ordered prior. The bartender asked me if I wanted to try one of their Batman LITs and I promptly agreed. You could offer me an Iron Man themed cup of crap and I'd probably pay at least a few bucks for it. They'd premixed a few jugs of the stuff, so I was skeptical. I prefer my drinks made fresh, of course. I accepted it, squeezed a lime into it (that was proffered), and took a sip.

It was like grape CANDY. That was my best first impression. You know how a perfectly mixed LIT doesn't taste like any alcohol is in it at all? That was this thing. It reminded me most of a sweeter version of Mountain Dew's short-lived Halloween flavor "Pitch Black." Chambord is a very sweet raspberry liqueur, and I was surprised to note that the mixture produced less of a raspberry notion on the tongue and far more of a grape one. It's not like the vodka and gin softened the flavor at all. But nevertheless, it tasted overpoweringly like a Chambord and grape candy soup. I drank it swiftly, and it left me with a light buzz that I appreciated for a short while.

I have a feeling the Dark Knight was made with a little extra something in it that they weren't spilling the beans on. Maybe some grape Kool-aid powder, maybe a little juice. Anyways, I really enjoyed the drink. I think it may have been just a tad bit too sweet for me but bah, I do enjoy a little sweetness every now and then. After it I had a gin gimlet and all was right with the world. I intend to try Chambord as a neat little cocktail, to sample it's intricacies more. When I get back to Chicago I'm going to be trying a lot of liquors and liqueurs neat it seems. I'm down with that.

Bottom Line: Deceptively strong, just like the Dark Knight himsef.